Friday, January 11, 2008

Top Gun

I revisited one of my favorite movie-drinking games in my post-New-Years movie marathon this year. After a truly mind-blowing evening, one must practice proper Psychage Decompression before sleeping, lest the various systems governing bodily Psychage suffer permanent damage. I personally decompress by watching the following classic films in reverse-adrenaline order:

1) Top Gun
2) The Die Hard Trilogy
3) Braveheart
4) Tombstone
5) Days of Thunder

Adding a drinking game to these films is not only amusing, but also maintains your buzz as if in tribute to the previous night’s revelry.

Here are the rules for a game I learned in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. It’s a tribute to the most heart-pounding, stroke-inducing, high-fiving classic film of them all,“Top Gun.”

Zack's TOP GUN Drinking Game

(For 5-20 Top Gunners)

1. Choose Your Call Sign. Each participant chooses a character before the opening credits. Each time that character’s name is mentioned, the designated player must take a sip of their beverage (5 SIPS EQUAL A FULL BEVERAGE). Example:hearing the name “Pete Mitchell,” “Maverick,” or “Mav” all require beverage consumption for the player who selects the Maverick call sign.The list at the bottom includes the major available characters in decreasing difficulty of beverage consumption.

2. Choose Your Call Out. At least one time during the film, each player must yell “Pause” in the direction of the chosen remote control operator and challenge another player to perform the subsequent line(s), lyrics, background activity,and/or movement in the scene. The challengee must perform the next line or physical movement (eg. “The Slider Flex”) exactly as it appears in the film, followed by the challenger’s own rendition. The movie is promptly resumed to reveal the correct answer and the losing party must finish a full beverage. Should both challengee and challenger fail,both drink. Every player is encouraged to issue at least one challenge during the game, but overuse of the “Call Out” by any particular player may invoke the Tigger Rule, in which the offending player is asked to“shut up” to prevent senseless filibuster.

3. “B.S.” Rule. Anytime an overly technical term is used, everyone yells “B.S.” or other appropriate exclamation and drinks a sip of their beverage.

4. Afterburners. When jet afterburners flare up, players must shout “Afterburners!” and enjoy a sip of their beverage.

5. The Mig Rule. Each time a Mig (a Soviet fighter jet) appears on the screen, everyone yells “Screw the Russians” and drinks a sip.

6. Bitchy. Every time Charlie (Kelly McGillis) does or says something bitchy, everyone drinks a shot of a coconut-flavored beverage.

7. Hot. Whenever Charlie does or says something hot, everyone drinks a shot of a distilled, Tennessean beverage.

8. You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling. When Maverick serenades Charlie in the bar, male players must singalong to any female players in the game. Singers then may enjoy a sip of beverage upon completion.

9. Missile Lock. Anytime you see and/or hear a missile lock (one jet “locks on” to another), everyone yells “Oh crap, we’re screwed” or other appropriate exclamation and drinks a sip of their beverage.

10. Tower Buzz. When coffee spills either on account of Maverick buzzing the tower (both times) or the tray of coffee overturns when the XO officer chews Viper out, each player must yell “Screw you, you fat bastard!” chug a doughnut, then do a shot of a coffee-flavored spirit.

11. Phallic References. Following overt phallic imagery or lines of dialogue (eg. “we’re the tip of the spear”), players shout “Penis reference” and sip their beverage.

Lt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (Tom Cruise)
Lt. Nick “Goose” Bradshaw (Anthony Edwards)
Lt. Tom “Iceman” Kazanski (Val Kilmer)
Cougar (John Stockwell) (Warning: Requires rapid beverage consumption)
Lt. Ron “Slider” Kerner (Rick Rossovich)
Lt. Cmdr. Rick ‘Jester’ Heatherly (Michael Ironside)
Charlotte “Charlie” Blackwood (Kelly McGillis)
Cmdr. Mike “Viper” Metcalf (Tom Skerritt)
Wolfman (Barry Tubb)
Lt. Sam “Merlin” Wells (Tim Robbins)
Sundown (Clarence Gilyard Jr.)
Lt. Rick “Hollywood” Neven (Whip Hubley)
Stinger (James Tolkan)
Carol Bradshaw (Meg Ryan)
Chipper (Adrian Pasdar)
Lt. Davis (Randall Brady)
Air Boss Johnson (Duke Stroud)
Sprawl (Brain Sheehan)
Inquiry Commander (Ron Clark)
Bartender (Frank Pesce)